His reindeer were magnificent, and the dull lighting in the stables didn't do them justice at all. Bob the Elf, Santa's right hand man, was tending to Rudolf. He had been drinking water again and was drunk. He was leaning against Vixen, who was struggling to stay stood upright. Bob was feeding Rudolf raw carrot to try and sober him up, and the smell of this orange vegetable being gnawed and crunched by Rudolf made all the other reindeer jealous. "It's nearly time," said Bob. "You're right," said the sizeable human being. It was the eve of Christmas Day, and Children were awaiting the delights of which he would bring them on his reindeer powered sled.

The Grotto housed 101 elves, all of which were ho-humming their way around the workshop, adding last minute touches to their toys. Bob was the eldest of the 101 elves, shortly followed by the immature and greedy elf named Fatso. Bob was as small as a scrawny sea lion, and an amazingly high pitched and loud voice. If ever you heard him scream, it would be twenty times worse than when someone scraped their nails down a chalky blackboard. The mouth which emitted this electric guitar like shriek housed hundreds of small, pointy teeth, like that of a shark. He had pointy ears that had only been beaten in triangulation by Mr. Spock. He wore small pixie shoes, which were pointy at the end with bells on each. He frequently told other less-smarter-than-himself elves to "Pull the other one" to no avail, although it made him laugh. His suit was green and felt like felt. The buttons on his fir tree coloured jacket were polished and shone like bright stars on a cloudless night. The pocket on his chest sported a clean, white handkerchief, which he only put there purely for showing-off purposes, and had never used it. His green suit gave him authority, as only Head-Elves were allowed to wear these.
He had a well-kept and styled goatee beard, which was ginger like the basin-bowl haircut on his melon head. He took pride in his appearance, not in the knowledge that everyone laughed at his pathetic goatee and smart clothes. All the other elves wore Jeans and tank tops. They too had no sense of style. Bob was "Santa's little helper" - he was the favourite, and all the other elves disliked him. They all played practical jokes on him, ranging from buckets of water over the head to laxatives in his coffee, they did this because he was a "classic" victim - and was funny when he got mad. He had all the important jobs, as he was loyal, trustworthy and hardworking. If ever he had any spare time, he would use it to look after the reindeer. Especially Rudolf, as he had a heavy drinking problem - too much water and he wouldn't be able to fly properly. His high ranking and intelligence is due to the fact that he was educated at Santa's School of Snow in Lapland, where he achieved many good grades and was picked on a lot. He had a high pitched voice at school, but he thought it would change after a couple of years. It didn't though, even up to the point when He screamed like a girl because Fatso bit him, and made him go deaf in the left ear.

Fatso was fat. He looked like a sumo wrestler after a three-week mince-pie eating fest. Fatso was also jealous. He was green with envy as Bob had always had all the good jobs and was always Santa's favourite. Bob was Fatso's worst enemy and was despised by Fatso since the incident with the ear. Were it not for his loose grasp of right and wrong, he would have eaten Bob a very long time ago. He was as fat as a chat show host and twice as greedy. He waddled around with the grace of a 10ft hippo leaping from the Eiffel tower, and his big-boned legs were barely enough to sustain his balloon like belly. Due to several laws of physics, his large weight was concentrated onto the tiny space of his feet, making it very hard for him to stand in the same place for very long. Unlike a camel, he found it hard to walk on loose ground and made slow pace on the sparse soft snow.
He wore a red suit, which let people know that he was a second class elf, with green being first, and yellow third. The red suit he wore was stretched and seemed to moan with each step the chubby little man took. His suit was scruffy and stained with the remains of old curries and pies, and smelling like dog food and a fisherman's Wellington boot. His face was round, much like his stomach, and like Uncle Fu, was the proud owner of many Chins. Unlike Bob, he had no beard, just stubble and gristle - mixed in with stale spittle. He would often hide bars of chocolate in between his beautifully fat chins. He bellowed when he spoke and his voice boomed like a bomb was being blown up every time he pronounced a syllable. Fatso, like Bob, was an outsider. They were both disliked, but depending on which way you look at it; Fatso had the sense to be evil back.

"Rudolf's been kidnapped!" Shouted Fatso as Bob lost 10% of his hearing, giving Fatso a sense of revenge and an excuse for letting out a slyly smug grin. He had been informed by Fatso that Rudolf was being held at a cottage in the depths of the woods. Many dangerous animals lurked and preyed in these woods, so he decided to go armed. He knew what the creatures did. They would stalk you for days, and break you down mentally, until they attacked and ripped you apart when you were crazy enough not to care. Bob took his diamond tipped ice pick; his poison tipped crossbow, and his ancient map. He laced his rugged walking boots, which were three sizes too big, but were made up for by a few layers of thermal socks. He donned his furry jacket, which he usually wore to go into the woods, and sheathed his well-kept and shiny knife. He said his goodbyes and farewells, before setting off into the treacherous and finger-numbingly cold glades which belonged to this icy desert. Three days into the journey, he had set up camp near the cottage to get some rest before charging the small building and rescuing Rudolf when the morning came. He had noticed a dark haired beast stalking him some two days ago, trying to scare him and make him weak. The hunter soon became the hunted though, when Bob stalked this creature whilst pretending to be petrified simultaneously. He found its resting-place - its Final resting-place, somewhere deep in the thicket of the forest…

Bob crept up to a small rock near where the demonic animal had retired, and loaded his crossbow. The animal had resided in an alcove, but Bob realised something extra. He was not alone. He could hear other such beasts moving in the thicket, creeping, prowling, and stalking their way closer to where Bob sat. He was foolish to think this creature would be alone - it obviously wasn't. The sleeping ugly was obviously a decoy. He knew that if he ran fast enough, then he could make it to the cottage, but what if he couldn't get in. Too bad, he would have to take this chance. He stood, shot a bolt at the nearest beast, but missed. So he ran.

They were nearly upon him when he reached the cottage, and he was fast running out of energy, which was not at the top of "Things I Like Best In Life List". He switched on his ageing thinking cap, dropped his crossbow for extra speed, and used a rope to haul him self up onto a shed roof. The beasts stopped at the shed and scraped at the wood trying to get up to him. There were three of them, and each of them had yellow teeth, which were as sharp as a witty genius, and looked like they wanted to eat him. He tried not to think about this as it made him feel nauseous. So, he decided to get away from these savages before they got him, the chance of such an event occurring becoming ever more likely. He took a step backwards, ran to the edge and leapt for an adjacent window, hooking onto the sill with his diamond-tipped ice pick. As his elbow smashed through the thin windowpane, the glass fell to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces, leaving a pile of glass that looked like crushed ice. From here he could successfully lay the devious organisms to rest. He did so and made his way downstairs.

The fire was on, and he could smell food cooking in the kitchen. Pies cooking in the kitchen - Fatso cooking pies in the kitchen. So he took his trusty ice pick, crept into the kitchen, hoping that the contents of the pies were vegetarian, as opposed to having reindeer content. Fatso was there all right, and he was about to tuck into a big pie. Fatso reached for a lever with terror in his eyes and smugness on his face as he ejected through the roof, and into the skies above.

"Mmmmph!" said Rudolf from the basement, as Bob untied him from the pillar that he leaned against. "Hic…Up!" Said Rudolf as he fell to the ground. Bob looked around to see a bucket of water next to him. "Drunk again then, Rudolf?" Said Bob whilst he heaved Rudolf up the stairs to the ground floor. You'd be surprised how much a reindeer could actually weigh, but Bob was strong, so he felt no strain - plus he needed to get out and capture Fatso. His parachute had opened, but his obesity outnumbered the silk life-saving device, and caused him to land at great speed in a big pile of snow. So, Bob hit him over the head and called the Grotto from the cottage phone, so that they could be rescued.

When the Ice-Mobile™ arrived, Bob got in with Rudolf and fed him some raw coffee. Fatso didn't want to go back, and he wasn't. He was going to spend the rest of his life in an Ice-y-lum™, where he would eat nothing but soup, and hopefully change for the better. As Fatso walked out of the doors of the Ice-Mobile™, he reflected upon the bad things he had done, but decided that he didn't care. He was hungry, and his hippo-like appetite could not bear the strain of no food. He could almost smell the aromatic mince pies, which Mrs. Claus would be baking, and tried to block the thought out. He could hear the other elves laughing and celebrating, enjoying festive food and party games. But wait, what was that smell? Tree! He could almost taste the poisonous berries and prickly holly leaves, not to mention the robins.

Santa delivered all of his presents, and with the help of Rudolf, made lots of little children enjoy their presents on Christmas Day. It made Bob happy to think that he saved Christmas Day and went on an adventure in the process. Even if he was scared most of the time. But it was fun, and worth it to see everyone enjoying themselves and having fun. And they all lived happily ever after - except Fatso that is.